It’s been one week in Singapore, and I’ve barely had a chance to sit down apart from sleeping. Here’s a quick breakdown of what’s been going on for those curious, or just want to do a bit of healthy stalking.

Wednesday: Arrived around noon Singapore time and checked into our hotel where we will be staying for the next month. Then got some blood taken to make sure we weren’t disease mules, clambering across the border to infect a nation with HIV, Hepatitis, and Republicanism.

Thursday:  We got up, ate some free hotel breakfast and got our bank accounts set up and our  badges made for Resorts World Sentosa. When I asked how it looked the nice man taking the pictures said, “Looks good!” Apparently looking like a serial killer is desirable here.

For dinner we went to The Banana Leaf Apolo in little india where instead of plates, you eat off a giant banana leaf. The food was fantastic, but considering the fact that it was my first real meal in singapore, and Indian on top of that, lets just say I spent a fair share of time sitting on a white throne later that night.

Friday: With friday off we went down and explored Sentosa Island. Rode the cable car across, hit up the gym, and went to a party with a bunch of the current Universal cast in Clarke Quay. It is here that I came to discover that 90% of my coworkers were gorgeous Australians. Even better, apparently straight men are a rare commodity in this crowd. Even better than that, I’ve got the serial-killer-vibe DOWN.

Saturday: A few of the other newcomers and I, hit up Mustafa Centre. HOLY BALLS. Okay, it’s really hard to describe this place without actually going in. But if you can imagine a Walmart, Target, K-Mart, Safeway, Sears, Best Buy, Wallgreens, Home Depot, and a homeless shelter combined, it would be about half the size of this place. It just keeps going, and going and  going. I’m pretty sure I changed time zones while walking from one side to another.

Later that night, we went to this place called the Blu Jaz Cafe, an awesome restaurant and music venue over in the Arab District. Spanning three floors with great food, it was hard not to have a good time here. First floor – main area of sit down eating with live jazz and violin.  Second floor – dance club and full bar. Third floor – live music venue with full bar along with the menu from the first floor. I’ll definitely be back.

Walking around a mile at 3:30AM back home, it never for an instant felt that some creepy man with combover would step out of an alley way and request I be their sex slave in a sultan’s pleasure room.  We did however run into five or six friendly Germans who were headed to Orchard Towers, otherwise known as the “Four Floors or Whores.” (Prostitution is legalized and controlled here.) They were very confused as to why we were headed home.

Sunday: I went and hit up the Singapore Botanical gardens including the National Orchid Garden of Singapore. With grassy fields, turtle and swan filled lakes, and lush sections of rainforest it was a hard place to leave. Later that night we hit up a place on Marina Bay for dinner. Amazing view of Downtown Singapore.

Monday / Tuesday: First day of work! Well, not really work. Corporate Induction. That says enough.

Wednesday: Training! Basically I get to just play a live video game all day. Can’t beat that. It was also staff preview night for Halloween Horror Nights here at Universal Singapore. AMAZING. I cannot imagine the work that goes into this thing. There were pits of bubbling lava, creepy demons on bungee cords leaping into sight and disappearing less than a second later, and padded rooms with strobes going off so bright that they would literally blind you for 10 seconds. You stumble around blind with the last image you saw imprinted in the back of your retina – a bloody figure in a straight jacket lumbering toward you.  While never experiencing Horror Nights at Universal Hollywood, a couple people I work with said this was a MILLION times better.


And that brings us back current. So far Singapore has been a blast. It is an insanely beautiful city, filled with a surprising amount of greenery everywhere, and not a single bit of trash to be seen.  If you like shopping and eating, this is the place for you.  The art community seems to be quite large  here with huge amount of expats. And when you do see a white person, chances are they’re Australian… and beautiful… and single… and want my body. More to come on that shortly.

With mall after mall after mall that all seem to connect to each other in the ice cold air-conditioned atmosphere underground, Singapore becomes an interconnected web of infinite shopping, tasty affordable food, and square toilets. Trust me. The toilets and I know each other quite well by now.



4 Comments on SINGAPORE

  • Jenna says:
    October 18, 2012 - 12:28am at 12:28 am

    I loved reading your update – I have been looking forward to it. Australians -I have heard of their beauty, and despite my negative comments (back a few posts) about hoping you’d meet ugly people, I can’t help but be happy for you, as long as you don’t get STD’s. You deserves some beauty -as long as it is inside-out. I think I should start a blog where I write the utmost truth. If I did, and I wrote about tonight, you’d probably be in tears, as I am. So, thank you for writing about the thrones, and giving me a smile, at least in my heart. Love you, Wyatt! Can’t wait to read more.


  • Wyatt Biessel says:
    October 18, 2012 - 9:31am at 9:31 am

    Aww. Thanks Jenna! And just remember to of course take all of these with a grain of salt. Or pepper. Or whatever spice you like. For the most part, it’s all just ridiculous exaggerations and pipe dreams. ;)


  • hyacinths says:
    June 24, 2013 - 9:45pm at 9:45 pm

    OMG! I’ve been cracking up reading the bit about Mustafa’s; It’s so true!
    Love the blog, the writing style…


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